GRE | Analyzing a 6.0 argument essay

date
Jul 26, 2022
slug
gre-aw-og-the-mason-river
status
Published
summary
Analyzing an official, fully-scored example essay is beneficial when studying for the GRE. Inadequate examination on valuable but scarce information, however, may squander time and limited ETS resources; so, today, I would want to learn one argument essay from the OG in depth.
tags
Academic
English
Study
type
Post
Analyzing an official, fully-scored example essay is beneficial when studying for the GRE. Inadequate analysis on valuable but scarce texts, however, may squander time and limited resources. Therefore, I would like to learn one argument essay scored 6.0 from the OG in details.

Prompt

Citing the original task, the fundamental objective is to uncover the assumptions underlying Mason's choice to spend more money on popular water facilities.
In surveys Mason City residents rank water sports (swimming, boating and fishing) among their favorite recreational activities. The Mason River flowing through the city is rarely used for these pursuits, however, and the city park department devotes little of its budget to maintaining riverside recreational facilities. For years there have been complaints from residents about the quality of the river's water and the river's smell. In response, the state has recently announced plans to clean up Mason River. Use of the river for water sports is therefore sure to increase. The city government should for that reason devote more money in this year's budget to riverside recreational facilities. Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on the assumptions and what the implications are if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

Analyzing The Reasoning Process

Prerequisites and conclusions are splitted into p, q, and s and are given below since this is how a convincing deductive process should be, from which we can see that we have more than ten issues to attack. However, the purpose is to evaluate implicit assumptions, thus only some of them are suitable. In this excellent example, the author picked survey validity and causal relationships (antecedents and consequences).
notion image

Analyzing an Official Guide Example Essay Scored 6.0

notion image
notion image
The official scoring viewpoints above are presented in the OG: cogency, development, organization, variety, and language. This is where my analysis starts.
notion image
notion image
notion image

Reader Commentary

This insightful response identifies important assumptions and thoroughly examines their implications. The proposal to spend more on riverside recreational facilities rests on a number of questionable assumptions, namely that: - The survey provides a reliable basis for budget planning; - The river’s pollution and odor are the only reasons for its limited recreational use; - Efforts to clean the water and remove the odor will be successful. By showing that each assumption is highly suspect, this essay demonstrates the weakness of the entire argument. For example, paragraph 2 points out that the survey might not have used a representative sample, might have offered limited choices, and might have contained very few questions on water sports. Paragraph 3 examines the tenuous connection between complaints and limited use of the river for recreation. Complaints about water quality and odor may be coming from only a few people, and even if such complaints are numerous, other completely different factors may be much more significant in reducing river usage. Finally, paragraph 4 explains that certain geologic features may prevent effective river cleanup. Details such as these provide compelling support. In addition, careful organization insures that each new point builds upon the previous ones. Note, for example, the clear transitions at the beginning of paragraphs 3 and 4, as well as the logical sequence of sentences within paragraphs (specifically paragraph 4). Although this essay does contain minor errors, it still conveys ideas fluently. Note the effective word choices (e.g.,“rife with . . . assumptions” and “may have swayed residents”). In addition, sentences are not merely varied; they also display skillful embedding of subordinate elements. Note, for example, the sustained parallelism in the first sentence of the concluding paragraph. Since this response offers a cogent examination of the argument and also conveys meaning skillfully, it earns a score of 6.

After This…

Apparently, the article is clear, compelling, well-organized, precise yet varied, and outstanding in language, from which I learned a lot.

RSS | Reynard © 2021 - 2022

Powered byVercel